When we welcomed little A earthside [part 3]

-->

We tried to go to bed Sunday evening, but I was psychologically spent from laboring and being sent home – I tried to time my contractions, but it was just frustrating as they were still between 6-8 minutes (and we were told they needed to be between 3-5 minutes to return to the hospital). C was able to get some sleep as my contractions amped up, became painful and never closer together than six minutes. I was too tired and overwhelmed to recognize the transition into active labor – even as I was resting/sleeping on the bed next to C for six minutes at a time, then hopping up to painfully make it through a contraction standing or leaning.

Obviously, we should have headed to the hospital before labor became that intense. Around 3-4am, I was crying in pain and scared that if we went to hospital they would send us home again. I woke C up and told him that we HAD to go because I couldn’t handle it anymore (I’d been in labor for almost 24 hours). He asked if contractions had picked up (they had) and I said I didn’t know (I didn’t realize). My mom had spent the night and she woke up as we were leaving and asked – C told her that we were going to have a baby (glad I didn’t hear this as his optimism would have made me cry).

As we drove into the hospital (about 25 minutes) I was able to time the contractions on the dash clock and yep, they were definitely between 3-5 minutes, so that was reassuring. I was a lot less cheerful walking through the ER doors than the morning before. I may have been screaming a bit and needed a wheelchair. When we got back to a room, changing was painful, the cervical check was excruciating and the IV placement took at least seven stabs.

I was at least at 7cm when we arrived at the hospital. Ten centimeters (plus other things) is when pushing begins and I’d gone from zero to seven in less than 24 hours (this is for all the moms who are passive aggressively pressured by doctors when they aren’t dilated or effaced at 36, 37, 38 weeks). The nurses moved very quickly to get my IV in, get the anesthesiologist in the room and call the doctor back to the hospital (it’s 430am or so). Meanwhile, I’m in a lot of pain and I’m angry. I remember being frightened too – I knew the doctor had been wrong to send me home the day before and I was thinking that I had to be nice to him because the same doctor was on call and would be doing my surgery now.

It took mere minutes to get me from my room to the OR and hooked up with a spinal – which was wonderful! No nausea, no breathlessness. Then the caesarean surgery. It all felt so urgent (to the doctors, it was – can’t go letting a scheduled surgery candidate have an accidental vaginal delivery). I was so happy to see my previous doctor in the OR as the second – she was my doctor with V and while we didn’t see eye to eye on a few things, she was WAY better than jackass doctor. C scrubbed in and we were off! I was loads nicer after the anesthesia and let the doctor know that I thought we were having a boy and that he’d be over 8.5 lbs. The snarky doctor said he didn’t think the baby would make eight pounds.

Well, I was exactly right – we had a baby girl that weighed exactly eight pounds at 510am!

Not that it marred the actual delivery, but the doctor continued to make comments about the thinness of my uterine scar, fragility of the skin at the scar site and how he recommended I didn’t labor again. Interesting that I wasn’t supposed to labor with this birth, but due to his actions, I ended up laboring for 24 hours, further thinning my uterine scar.  

It was the best feeling to see her and hear her little baby snuffles (I don’t think she cried out). C watched the whole surgery (again) and said she came out all covered in vernix and definitely plump. With two boys before her and me expecting another boy (C says he knows she was a girl) – C saw she was a girl (sort of) and told me – I asked him to repeat himself!

[Part 1]

[Part 2]

[Part 4]

When we welcomed little A earthside [part 2]

-->

We arrived at the ER (going into labor during the weekend turned out to be an issue) and checked in around 830 or 9am, went to a room and had monitors put on. The nurses confirmed that I was having contractions and was in early labor, but I was not at all dilated or effaced (and someone, please, let me know why that matters if I’m having a surgical birth?). They hooked me up to a saline IV to slow down the contractions so they could send me home because they “didn’t know how long it would be until she went into active labor.” This was the beginning of poor decision-making by the on-call doctor.

The hospital kept me for about three hours and then a nurse came in and told me we could go home because my contractions had spaced out again (not stopped, just gone back to 10-15 minutes apart instead of 8-10 minutes). What?! I started crying and asked to see the on-call doctor (who told them to send me home without ever seeing me). This doctor comes in and tries to explain to me that he has a mom attempting a VBAC and another at the same stage I’m at (unsure if she will leave), so maybe he could do the surgery later – but, he insinuated that I should just go home and that I wasn’t really in labor. From there, he also asked about the date we’d chosen to do the caesarean birth – he strongly alluded if we’d scheduled it at 39 weeks pregnant (like they usually do) that the baby would already be here.

Fun side note, would anyone care to guess why we scheduled at 40 weeks? Couldn’t be because our first baby came early and premature? Because we know that a week makes a lot of difference. V also arrived after 40 weeks. Makes sense.

But not to the doctor. Through what he said, C got the message that we should check out and go home because we were wasting the doctor and hospital’s time. We left after we spoke with the anesthesiologist – who assured me that I could still have a spinal if I ate lunch (I was very excited about spinal anesthesia versus an epidural like I had with previous deliveries – because I felt more of those than I should have + recovery is quicker). We weren’t given any real instructions beyond drinking a lot of water and returning if I was in “active labor.”

Another side note here – no one should have to “qualify” for a scheduled caesarean birth by being in active labor. That’s bullshit. We were fine waiting on a VBAC-ing mom (that was me last time) and until the OR became available. I presented in proven labor and due to the caesarean birth requirement, shouldn’t have even had my cervix checked. I am angry about this still. Also, that they made me feel as if I was hysterical and an imposition, when I presented to the hospital in labor at 39+ weeks pregnant.

C and I got Chipotle and route 44 cherry limeades and went over to my parents’ house to watch movies for a few hours in case something changed. Contractions kept up, but didn’t increase in spacing or duration, so we decided to go home. At home, my mom came out and made a great dinner while C’s mom had kept the boys this whole time (moms, tell me if I get this wrong – it’s a bit hazy, I just know that the boys were safe and happy). And, not in a way I could tell, but by this time, contractions were picking up. There’s a terrible photo of me at the table, leaning over in pain.

[Part 1]

[Part 3]

[Part 4]

When we welcomed little A earthside [part 1]

The plan for baby #3 was always to have a repeat caesarean birth, as I’d delivered I and V that way as well. We briefly considered looking for a doctor who would support us in a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean), but they are rare and there is still a chance that the attempt would result in a caesarean birth (funny, though, the doctor we heard would be willing to attempt a vaginal birth after two caesareans was the one who delivered baby I).

When we found out we were pregnant (a whole other story), I decided to change doctors to one that I’ve known for the last 12 years and felt really comfortable with – game changer. My doctor was a kind, empathetic, intelligent man that spent time encouraging us – and his nurse was just as great! I pulled “my” doulas in quickly this time and signed up for their postpartum services since I wouldn’t be laboring this time. We were due mid-February and set a surgery date for 40 weeks. We were ready.

Except, I went into labor early Sunday the week the caesarean birth was scheduled on Wednesday. Labor started early am and I began to wrap up work emails at 5am during 10-15-minute breaks in contractions. I let C sleep, which must be a theme now, from V’s birth! He woke up around 8am and we headed to the hospital after I took time to pack a bag. My assumption was that since labor had started, I should go to the hospital and we’d wait a bit and then the doctors would do the surgery – we’d meet our new little person THAT DAY!

[Part 2]

[Part 3]

[Part 4]