Kids in the woods

My kids are just the best, full stop. Ivan's a character and a sweetheart who loves his siblings. Vic is super funny and a snuggler. Astrid is a hoot and such a personality - also, very drawn to her brothers!

Family in the trees

People, it was cold. Like under 20 degrees. And mister Vic was getting sick and we didn't know it. And we woke the two little ones from a nap.

But. Amy and Kim from The Wild Child are great. We already knew this - it's their second time with us and Amy's third (she took my wedding photos in 2005!). They are super talented and I'm grateful that they can help us capture these memories!

Holton, Kansas. November 10, 2018.

With hats:

Without hats:

True story.

Family photos of V + the lice story

Do you all remember that time I had our third baby and then we went to our oldest's kindergarten musical performance and I looked down at his brother's head and said oh, dear and C asked if I forgot diapers, because yes, well, that too, but no, Honey, the oh, dear was for the bugs crawling among my baby boy's reddish curls and oh, crap? And then we were 100% distracted and I don't know what the performance was about (was it the dinosaur rock where I made him a dinosaur hoodie that you couldn't see from the front and it took eight hours while my lovely MIL watched my newborn and I kept saying I didn't realize it would take this long and he has to have a dinosaur costume). And then there were still bugs and I just needed 14 seconds to call my best friend who dealt with lice so many times and destigmatized it, but I still didn't want to tell my parents or inlaws, who were also at this performance I don't remember, because I couldn't manage their feelings or emotions (turned out I underestimated them, my bad, but also postpartum and living heavily in my head).

The torturous performance ends and we all go outside where I awkwardly cancel dinner plans with all the parents - maybe I say we're tired? C confirms the lice and the parents overhear that "We need to confirm" and leap to wild conclusions I will later share, because when it's a shit show, it's flying feces. We call my bestie, she gives us the low down and we race to CVS/Walgreens/whatever and pick up all the things - I think she said the COMB IS THE MOST IMPORTANT.

We head home, I give in and call the parents (who are all together) and share our predicament and ask that they bring home food. We have two boys in the bathtub with stinging shampoo. Middle dude is the originator, for sure, but the oldest had one adult louse on him and gets treated too. Luckily, the older one has a crew cut. Then, C begins combing through super fine two-year-old curls that we've never cut. And that's, uh, challenging. So at 1030 at night, after the baths with the bad-smelling shampoo, after I collected all the sheets/clothes/stuffed toys/blankets/carseats/etc., after C tried to comb through unruly curls, waking V u[ every couple of seconds, we made an executive decision. C shaved V bald. The C shaved himself bald. This is a big deal because everyone had so many feelings about V's strawberry blond curls. But it was okay. Except, V looked a little bit like a child experiencing cancer and that broke a bit of my heart. But he had C with the same haircut.

And, it took care of the lice. [Perceived gender question - would C and I have shaved our 2yo daughter's hair? I don't know.]

A couple of side notes: one set of our parents overheard us say the word "confirm" at the school, post-performance and jumped to the conclusion that I could be pregnant again. Ugh. Also, lice has a stigma and it should not - it happens. My friend told me there is a lice season in Greece. Also, when you shave someone's head in April, it's cold - hats are good, then it's hot and sunny and hats are also good. We forced V into becoming a hat guy.

More family photos to come, but these of V have my heart. His little bald head.

The biggest brother photos

Our firstborn is my favorite firstborn. He is a child I am proud of. He is challenging and so smart. He is an excellent big brother and while his brother sees his tenderness, he saves a lot for his sister. He's also funny and charming and outspoken.

Our new family of FIVE

Little A's birth story precedes this post in three or four parts, but the essence is that we are SO happy she is here. We needed her. And we love her hard.

Mama's babies photos

I never regret family photos. Never.

To me, it's always worth the time, money and anxiety. I will always need a visual reminder of our family's dynamics at any given time and these feed my soul.

When we welcomed little A earthside [part 3]

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We tried to go to bed Sunday evening, but I was psychologically spent from laboring and being sent home – I tried to time my contractions, but it was just frustrating as they were still between 6-8 minutes (and we were told they needed to be between 3-5 minutes to return to the hospital). C was able to get some sleep as my contractions amped up, became painful and never closer together than six minutes. I was too tired and overwhelmed to recognize the transition into active labor – even as I was resting/sleeping on the bed next to C for six minutes at a time, then hopping up to painfully make it through a contraction standing or leaning.

Obviously, we should have headed to the hospital before labor became that intense. Around 3-4am, I was crying in pain and scared that if we went to hospital they would send us home again. I woke C up and told him that we HAD to go because I couldn’t handle it anymore (I’d been in labor for almost 24 hours). He asked if contractions had picked up (they had) and I said I didn’t know (I didn’t realize). My mom had spent the night and she woke up as we were leaving and asked – C told her that we were going to have a baby (glad I didn’t hear this as his optimism would have made me cry).

As we drove into the hospital (about 25 minutes) I was able to time the contractions on the dash clock and yep, they were definitely between 3-5 minutes, so that was reassuring. I was a lot less cheerful walking through the ER doors than the morning before. I may have been screaming a bit and needed a wheelchair. When we got back to a room, changing was painful, the cervical check was excruciating and the IV placement took at least seven stabs.

I was at least at 7cm when we arrived at the hospital. Ten centimeters (plus other things) is when pushing begins and I’d gone from zero to seven in less than 24 hours (this is for all the moms who are passive aggressively pressured by doctors when they aren’t dilated or effaced at 36, 37, 38 weeks). The nurses moved very quickly to get my IV in, get the anesthesiologist in the room and call the doctor back to the hospital (it’s 430am or so). Meanwhile, I’m in a lot of pain and I’m angry. I remember being frightened too – I knew the doctor had been wrong to send me home the day before and I was thinking that I had to be nice to him because the same doctor was on call and would be doing my surgery now.

It took mere minutes to get me from my room to the OR and hooked up with a spinal – which was wonderful! No nausea, no breathlessness. Then the caesarean surgery. It all felt so urgent (to the doctors, it was – can’t go letting a scheduled surgery candidate have an accidental vaginal delivery). I was so happy to see my previous doctor in the OR as the second – she was my doctor with V and while we didn’t see eye to eye on a few things, she was WAY better than jackass doctor. C scrubbed in and we were off! I was loads nicer after the anesthesia and let the doctor know that I thought we were having a boy and that he’d be over 8.5 lbs. The snarky doctor said he didn’t think the baby would make eight pounds.

Well, I was exactly right – we had a baby girl that weighed exactly eight pounds at 510am!

Not that it marred the actual delivery, but the doctor continued to make comments about the thinness of my uterine scar, fragility of the skin at the scar site and how he recommended I didn’t labor again. Interesting that I wasn’t supposed to labor with this birth, but due to his actions, I ended up laboring for 24 hours, further thinning my uterine scar.  

It was the best feeling to see her and hear her little baby snuffles (I don’t think she cried out). C watched the whole surgery (again) and said she came out all covered in vernix and definitely plump. With two boys before her and me expecting another boy (C says he knows she was a girl) – C saw she was a girl (sort of) and told me – I asked him to repeat himself!

[Part 1]

[Part 2]

[Part 4]